What's on my mind.

Hello everyone,

I was thinking and it occurred to me, women are probably the most strongest creatures out there. No, I'm not saying this because I am one. But honestly if you think about it, I mean really think about it, they are. 

A women must go out everyday into a world that looks down upon them. A world where men, not all but a lot, disrespect them... in every way. Where equality is a joke to some. Where women are constantly harassed. Looked at more like objects than something.. some ONE that is living with a heart and emotions. Looked at more as eye candy, sexual objects, a price, a toy, a punching bag, a therapist, a victim, a listening device that will take whatever you throw at them. Expected to stay quiet because we are the "lesser".

This is a world where a female is not safe. Where a woman can't even walk down the street without being objectified. There are some women who are terrified to be alone with a man, to walk around by themselves, who don't dare walk alone in the dark, life myself. It doesn't matter if you are wearing a dress too small to fit your ass in or if you are covering every inch of your body with sweats. They are cloth, all as easily ripped off as a band aid.

Flirting is not consent. The amount of clothes you wear is not consent. Being vulnerable is not consent. Saying no, is not consent.

Still though, we dare go out into this disgusting world trying not to think about what could happen in an instant. Trying to be successful in this world when we are constantly pushed to back down and stay there. Where a woman's equality is a utter joke. 

Equality - the state of being equal in status, rights, and opportunities. If you make a certain amount of money for the same job as I am doing, I expect equal pay. If you hold a door open for me, I will hold one for you. If you feel that if equality between a man and a women means that you can hit one another, damn right, but don't expect to not be hit in return. The key, respect. 

If a woman wants to wear close to nothing. Respect that. If they want to wear baggy clothes to hide their body, or even if it's just for comfort. Respect that. If a girl is wearing leggings and god damn if their ass looks nice because we all know that it most likely does, be respectful and do not do anything. IF the girl is heavy even and is wearing them, do not say anything. Realize that the body pressure we all are faced with is only eradicated if we stop looking at certain body types with ignominy, and sayings like “No Fatties” only make it worse. Most women who don’t fit into society’s ideal beauty standards face a kind of uphill battle that you will never understand.

And still, we go out every day with all of this. In my eyes, that seams pretty strong.

I guess I'll quit rambling now. 
Till next time.

Random thought.

Hello everyone,

I was just thinking about something while trying to sleep (how it usually goes), and I thought... It's kind of mainstream to have the same thoughts or things that you thought that you only tought, as someone else. Like, I see Facebook pages about things like, seeing what raindrop wins on the way to the bottom... Just things like that. And I find it odd how it's like, cool to tell someone about things that you used to hide away. I'm probably making no sense but...

I mean I see what raindrop will win but I thought only I did that and when I saw there was a page on Facebook with people who did the same thing I thought it was kind of cool. But it's turned into a sort of thing that now you know you're not special and unique as you thought you were. And some people still thinks it's super cool to say things that they only thought they did but find out that other people do/did as well. I don't know... It's like, "cool"... 

Just a random, confusing thought

But till next time, BYE<3

OTD

Hello everyone!!

So I just threw some stuff on and I though it looked really cute so here is my outfit of the day!! :)

(So I promise I'm not that deformed as this jumper makes me look)

XXL Jumper - Great Land (or from my mums closet)

Black leggings - BCG

Grey/green high socks- No clue!

And some Grey converse 

And that was my outfit to go see Desolation of Smaug, which I must say was absolutely amazing!!!:) (even though it went full Hollywood :(

12/13/13

Hello everyone,

So the doctors called today and they said they want to look at the lump again. I have a ultrasound needle biopsy on the 18th. Which just so happens to be my birthday! Isn't that awesome. It's also the day where I have my two core class finals for school! God, what an awesome time I'm going to have working that out. 

I'm almost done with my first semester of my senior year in high school. I'm extremely stressed to say the least. 

But until next time, bye <3

12/12/2013

Hello everyone

So a few days ago I found a lump in my right breast. I waited a day or two before I told anyone to see if it might just go away. Yesterday, I told my mum about it and she scheduled an appointment right away. 

Today, we headed there at about 12:30 and finally found the place at about 1:30. Anyway, the lady I saw was really kind and she said it probably isn't anything to worry about but she said I should have an ultrasound of it just to be safe. Luckily the place where we needed to go was free to do it and was in a building right next to the one we were in. 

We walked to the place where we needed to be and got right to business. The woman who did the ultrasound was also really nice which made me feel a little better about the whole thing. The thing that made me nervous was she took a lot of pictures. And also the fact that I could see what I was feeling also made me extremely nervous. When she was done she went to go talk to the radiologist and was gone for about 20 minutes.. which added to the anxiety. She came back and told me I was free to go and that I would get a call from my doctor in a day or two.

I'm so extremely nervous I don't know what to do with myself. I'm sure it's nothing but just the fact that it could possibly something really bad is freaking me out.

Anyway
Till next time <3

Sick.

Hello everyone!

It is literally the worst thing being sick at school. You constantly feel like your face is going to leak everytime you put you head down. It's horrible! Then you're constantly wiping your nose and trying not to make a scene. You end up rubbing your nose raw.

And then you constantly have the need to cough. Which really sucks because you again, don't want to cause too much ruckus.

I hate being sick in school.

Till next time, BYE! <3

Hopeless admiration.

Hello everyone!

So, there's been a thought on my mind for a while now and I just can't seem to figure out the reason. I can not figure out why we, as a general population, are so into people that we cannot and probably will never have the slightest chance with. It's been a thing with me for as long as I can remember. Always having a huge crush on like, a celebrity or whatever. But when you have someone that you can observe on a daily basis and see how they act day to day, you really start to have feelings for them. 

I don't know if this is just my hopeless romantic self or if a lot of people do it. I mean, I don't obsess like some and like and comment on every single instagram photo that said person has (that's just really creepy). But I do look at them. I smile if I see them smiling and maybe like one or two pictures. Yet still this person is on your mind. 

Sadly, all I can really do is sit and watch. Chilling in the background waiting for something that will never happen. *cry cry*
But oh well!

(Most pointless post ever)

Till next time, BYE <3